Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize