i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
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