I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize