we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I stole a fireplace last night.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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