i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
it was like eating out sand paper
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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