she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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