I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I AM VODKA MAN
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
