I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I am naked and annoyed.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
