just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
