like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
