Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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