Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
