none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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