I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
