did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
