You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
