I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
