My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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