Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
