Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
