My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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