I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
