We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
