office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
