i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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