Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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