This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
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I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
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You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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