And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
