great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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