Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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