So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
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