I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
