I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
