guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
A+ Viking dick
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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