Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
