I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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