Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
