its not stalking. its research.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
