Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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