if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
