do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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