Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
