I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Randomize
