are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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