Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
