I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
