best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
