don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
A+ Viking dick
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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