3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
How's work?
Spinning.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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