Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
