it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
operation have a gay friend backfired
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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