whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
