please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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