i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
