Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
