how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
