I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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