i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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