And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
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