just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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