I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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