i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
